Looking For What You Need To Find

Last week I was looking for a lid for one of my Tupperware containers but was frustrated at every turn. It wasn't in the dishwasher, the dish rack, the cupboard where most of my lids are, the other cupboard where some of my lids are, the kitchen counter - nowhere...or so I thought. After I had checked all the aforementioned places I decided I would take a look in the fridge; not because I thought the lid might be there but because I have an identical container but two different coloured lids. I had been looking for the pink lid so expected to find the green lidded container in the fridge...wrong! The container in the fridge had the pink lid on it so I went back to the cupboard where I keep most of my Tupperware lids and right away spotted the green lid I needed.

As I went about putting the cheese I had on the counter into the container - and fitting the green lid tightly on it - I thought about how that experience with a Tupperware lid mirrors some of my life-experiences. So often I go looking for an answer or solution to a particular situation or problem and come away frustrated because I can't seem to find one only to discover later on that the answer/solution was right in front of me all along. I had missed it because it was not what I was looking for.

I find this especially true when it comes to God-things. You know what I mean don't you? I bring a situation to God and I ask Him to work it out, I ask for His provision, His intervention, His direction. Then I begin to search for the answer/solution that I am looking for. Even though I have asked Him to take control, I have essentially maintained the position of Director in the situation. Time and time again I am frustrated in my search simply because I am looking for the wrong thing!

Why? Essentially because, as Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us...

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.

Too often, that's one of my least favourite Scripture passages because I want my thoughts to be God's thoughts and my ways to be His ways. You get the subtle difference there, don't you? I want Him to see things my way. I want my logic to make sense to Him - it makes sense to me after all! So when I take my concerns to Him and I begin to look for the answer/solution, I am looking for what I would do and for what makes sense to me. Time and time again, His answer is a green lid, not a pink one.

This faith journey that I'm on requires that I be open to different coloured lids. Let me tell you - it's definitely easier to type that than to live it. Some days it's exciting and I look forward to discovering what colour/shape/form God's response to my request will be. On other days, it feels terrifying not knowing what I'm looking for or how God will bring it about. Today...I'm open to fuchsia, magenta, chartreuse, jonquil, fandango, malachite or - of course - Caribbean green! As for tomorrow...I'll be checking the list of colour names on Google before I leave for work. I really want to the looking for the right coloured lid.

Friends

A quick thought before I head into the whirlwind that will be my day...

I glimpsed a headline at an online newspaper yesterday - something about how friendships are more important to women the older they get. Last night I had five friends over and I think we proved that headline 100%. We are a group of women ranging in age from late twenties to early fifties - very early fifties that is. We come from all walks of life and have unique life stories. We care about each other and it is amazing to watch that in action.

The group has been meeting regularly since last Fall. We took a break for the summer but decided we needed to gather at least once before September and last night was the appointed time. Our plan was to have tea and watch a video. An hour and forty five minutes after we arrived, the movie had not begun. During those 105 minutes we each shared what had been happening in our lives, laughed with each other, even shed a tear over some of the not so happy issues we were working through. We cheered each other's good news and victories and encouraged each other and gave advice for the processes we are determined to walk out.

We ended that portion of our evening with a time of prayer. Taking all of our good news and matters of concern to the One who ultimately drew us together - God. We acknowledged that it is His help we need and that with it, we would successfully navigate the waters ahead - rapids and all. Then we watched the movie we had ostensibly gathered to view.

As I said good night to each one at the door, even though it had been a long, hectic day, my heart was light and I felt good. I love my husband and children. I know I am truly blessed to have the marriage and family God has given to me. At the same time, I realize that I need other relationships and I am very thankful for my friends - the five ladies who shared last evening with me as well as the others who walk with me through the life journey God has me on.

Because of my desire to centre my life around God and His Word, I could not end this post without referring to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

And a final thought...friends don't magically appear; at least not usually. So I share with you some sage advice from times past - To have a friend, you need to be a friend.

Loud and Clear!

Lately God has been challenging me to TRUST . It seems I am frequently coming upon situations where I need to be still and quiet so that I can receive the comfort and reassurance He has for me on this faith journey. Yesterday on the way to work I encountered yet another of those situations...

In an effort to be economical, I decided to combine my drive to work with an errand - dropping some books off at the library. It was a beautiful morning and so I was driving with the windows down in a vehicle that my friend had graciously loaned me. I got out of the car at the library and by force of habit, pressed the lock button as I did so. When I got back to the vehicle I thought that I would just unlock the door by pulling up the button. BIG MISTAKE! The car's anti-theft system assumed that I was trying to steal the vehicle and began that loud blaring you hear so often from parked cars. I quickly got in and tried to start the vehicle but said anti-theft system would not allow me to do so.

By this point I was quite flustered and so jumped out of the vehicle. All kinds of options ran through my mind (including trying to open the hood and disconnect the horn!). As I stood there feeling rather panicked and a little embarrassed - I couldn't help but wonder what people going by were thinking of me - I took a deep breath and groaned..."God help me!". Instantly an idea came to mind - put the key in the lock and turn it. VOILA! The alarm went off allowing me to start the vehicle and drive away.

As I made my way to work thinking over what had happened, God spoke to me. In my initial state of panic, I was not able to think rationally about what I could do to rectify the situation, but when I literally stepped out of the situation by exiting the car and took the opportunity to ask for help, it was there. So often when I am in a difficult situation I feel the need to be doing something, to try to manipulate circumstances so that they move from difficult to not so difficult. Most times, it doesn't help. It's when I stop and give God the chance to move and/or to speak to me that I see change take place.

Why is it that I find it so hard to heed God's invitation to let Him do His thing? Once again I am challenged by an old chorus that simply repeats the the first half of Psalm 46:10...

"Be still, and know that I am God."

And by Moses' word to the children of Israel as they fled through the dessert...

“Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today." Exodus 14:13

The sincere desire of my heart is that the next time I begin to panic - for whatever reason - I will step back, take a breath and call on God. Stay tuned - I really want to have some amazing stories to share with you as He does what He does so well - is God in my life.

Lessons In Purolator Packages

At one of my two part-time jobs we receive courier deliveries every day bringing us orders which we have to process. Last week I was beginning to feel overwhelmed because one morning we received three deliveries which consisted of several large boxes. Since I already had some orders to deal with, I decided not to open the boxes till I had cleared the orders on the work bench. I found myself watching the order counter on my computer screen, looking at the bins to see whether I could see the bottoms, glancing at my watch to see how much time I had left to get all the orders dealt with and looking over at the boxes which seemed to get larger as the day progressed. By mid afternoon I was feeling a bit anxious - was I going to be able to get to the new orders and have them processed in a timely manner?

And then my boss brought in two more boxes. He's a real joker and as he walked out he made a passing comment like "You slacking off or something? Look at all the orders you need to process!" I laughed because I knew he was joking but the ball of anxiety in my tummy began to bounce around like an errant rubber ball on the school playground.

At that point I realized I had a number of options....

1. Continue to stress about the mounting pile of orders.

2. Stop looking at the boxes and concentrate on the bins.

3. Realize that I can only do what I can do so just keep going.

That worked for about 15 minutes before the sight of the boxes began to bug me again. So I decided to do something about. I got up, opened the boxes and unpacked the orders. To my surprise I found that quite a few of the boxes had very little in them. It seemed as though there were no small boxes to be found in the various stores that needed to ship orders and so they had used large boxes to send a small quantity of work to us. By the time all the boxes had been unpacked, the mound of work was not unmanageable. In fact, I was able to get it all cleared away before I left for the weekend.

As I was reflecting on my experience, I realized that I do the same thing in my life that I did at work. I am sometimes overwhelmed by all that I need to deal with and accomplish. I'm talking about things as simple as getting the floors swept and mopped to more complicated matters like supporting one of my children as he/she works through issues in his/her life. It would also include things like facing up to attitudes or behaviours that God is requiring me to deal with and working through disagreements with my husband. Sometimes I make a mental list of all the things I need to do, from the mundane to the serious, and I get overwhelmed. My stomach gets tied up in knots, I rhyme off all the reasons why I can't get do it, I remind myself of my inadequacies, of the improbabilities of successfully dealing with all the things I have to do and by the end of it, my stomach is so tied up in knots, it's not just one rubber ball bounding around, it's an entire box full!

I'm thankful that when I do get to that point, I eventually go through a process that is similar to unpacking courier boxes. I take time to talk to God about it all. I identify all the things I am stressing about, I acknowledge that I need His help and I try really hard to give it all over to Him. I sing a couple of choruses that really help me to calm down. It's at times like this that I am thankful for my parents' dilligence in taking us to church, Sunday School, Vacation Bible School and summer camp. I am also thankful for the hours I spent watching Christian television programs and listening to Christian tapes/CDs with my four children because it's songs from those experiences that come to my mind. Things like...

My Hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness

Trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey

I cast all my cares upon You, I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet and any time I don't know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You

I find my way to the book of Psalms and I soak up the encouragement I find there. As I read through, I write down my thoughts, feelings and questions. If you pick up my Bible and flip the pages, you will know where I was reading when I needed to go through one of my "unpacking boxes" processes - LOTS OF COMMENTS/NOTES!

What I find is that the 'boxes of troubles' I was allowing to overwhelm me are rarely full. They look worse than they are. Are there still issues that are difficult to deal with - yes, but they don't need to derail me emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. With God's grace, strength, comfort and courage - often provided through the fabulous people He's placed in my life - I can deal with what I have to face.

I am greatly encouraged by the following passage from 2 Corinthians 8:-11 as translated in The Message:

God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you're ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it,

He throws caution to the winds,
giving to the needy in reckless abandon.
His right-living, right-giving ways
never run out, never wear out.

This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God.

That's my prayer...that God will work in me so that I can not only deal with what comes my way, but so that I can bring praise to Him as I do so.

Who knew Purolator could be so helpful?!

Maybe I Don't Need To Know...Lessons from a Video Game

Several weeks ago as I sat in the van waiting for one of our children I discovered a video game on my cell phone. Galaxy Balls is reminiscent of Tetris and since I had played it eons ago I thought I would try it. In the beginning it was frustrating but the longer I played it, the better I got. It took me a few games to realize that the little screen to the right was showing me what the next configuration of balls would be. It took me a few more games to be able to efficiently use that foreknowledge and it definitely helped me to get better scores but it was not as helpful as I thought it would be.

I sometimes found that it was confusing to have to manage both my present and future moves. For one thing, I got so focused on what was to come, that I missed placing the current configuration in the most advantageous way. Other times I placed the current configuration in the spot that I should have placed the next set of balls. A few times, out of frustration, I simply took my fingers off the control buttons and let the shapes fall wherever they landed and, to my surprise, I earned quite a few points that way.

Many times I have thought that if I knew what was going to happen, if I had 'inside information' about upcoming events, I would be better prepared to deal with them. Playing Galaxy Balls led me to a bit of an epiphany - it does not always work that way. If I knew what was to come, I might be distracted from dealing with the present. Life can be complicated enough today that I don't need to worry about what is going to happen next week or next month.

Similar to the dilemma that faces characters in time travel movies or books, if I knew what was to come I might change things today in hopes that I would be in a better position to deal with tomorrow's challenges. And that brings to mind a verse of Scripture...

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 Message

Galaxy Balls is not the real world but playing it has helped me to accept the fact that I don't really need to know what is to come...as long as I'm focused on where God is leading me.