Forgiveness

In our house we have a chore chart. You know - each day of the week the essential chores are assigned to members of the household. Most chores are rotated so that everyone has a turn doing them but there are a few that are permanently assigned to a specific family member. One of my daughters likes doing laundry so that's her permanent task. My son does garbage/recycling because...I don't remember why he got stuck with that one but that's the way it is. My permanent chore is the floors. The reason I have that one is because I know no one else in the family likes doing floors and while I don't consider myself obsessive about the task (my children might disagree) I figure I will have less to complain about if I do it myself.

I have discovered that cleaning the floor is a frustrating chore. Depending on how messy they are, it can take a long time to get the floors clean. There are lots of obstacles - things like furniture, area rugs and potted plants - that make it more time consuming. The laminate flooring streaks easily. (I prefer to clean the floors at night when there is no sun streaming through the windows highlighting the smudged spots.) Those things, frustrating though they may be, pale in comparison to the ultimate frustration of cleaning floors - THEY GET DIRTY AGAIN...very quickly...especially in the winter. It doesn't take long for a clean floor to be messed up. Sometimes I feel as though my efforts are wasted but I know that it is better to keep cleaning the floors than to allow them to be permanantly damaged by the build up of dirt and grime. Better to have to clean the floors repeatedly than have to replace them!

I think forgiveness is like cleaning floors. Seriously. You know it needs to be done. You think about it. You decide to do it. You do it. Within minutes, it needs to be re-done. That's where I am at in the forgiveness process right now.

There is a situation in my life where I feel I was wronged. I have chosen to forgive those involved - repeatedly. I feel as though all is good. My conscience is clear; all evidence of the hurt, anger and unforgiveness have been eradicated and then...something happens to bring it up and all of a sudden, there are dirty footprints of unforgiveness in my heart and mind. I don't want the footprints there. I don't want to dwell on the events, the conversations, the decisions and yet...

I think about it. I decide - yet again - that I want to forgive. I take out the proverbial broom and mop, get it all cleaned up and move on to the next task at hand. Till another reminder comes along.

Remember the story in the Bible where Peter asks Jesus how many times he's to forgive someone who hurts him? (Matthew 18:21-23) Remember what Jesus says? Seventy times seven. Four hundred and ninety times. I have always heard it explained that it means even if someone wrongs you four hundred and ninety times, you forgive them. This week I am wondering if there might be a different interpretation of that - at least for me. Is it possible that Jesus is telling us that we may have to extend forgiveness four hundred and ninety times for the same offense - because we have trouble letting go of it?

My floors really do need to be swept and mopped today - it was on my list of chores for yesterday but I was out of town - and I do plan to get to it. My heart needs to be cleansed from unforgiveness today too and I really want to deal with it. I don't want the muck to build up and permanently mar my heart. I want for this time to be the four hundred and ninetieth time because I don't want to have to keep going through this process.

Lord, please help me to let go. Please shine Your light on my heart; show me the streaks and imperfections in my attempt to clear my heart of unforgiveness. Release me and those I feel have wronged me. Help us all to walk in freedom...on clean floors.