Better AND Worse

Last Saturday I attended a shower for my niece. Due to the pouring rain, our "Tea Party Shower" was moved indoors where we enjoyed yummy goodies, played the requisite games and oohed/aahed at the lovely gifts. At one point our hostess gave each of us the opportunity to share words of encouragement and advice for Lisa. Some of the comments were humourous, causing us all to laugh uproariously while others were deep and meaningful, even drawing a tear or two. In the midst of the tremendous joy and anticipation of wedded bliss, we all wanted to share positive, encouraging advice - and we did. But in just a few days, Lisa and Andrew will be pledging to love one another "in sickness and in health, for better or worse". How do you go about sharing that without bursting the bubble? On the 90 minute drive home I took to reminiscing...

It's been just over 24 years since Derrick and I got married. Over that time, we have experienced the 'better' AND the 'worse'; I don't think any of us can escape that reality. The intricacies of our 'worse' are well recorded in the corners of my heart and mind; I've found it's best for me not to go there if I can help it. The glorious details of all our 'better's are emblazoned in the forefront - and I know that's the best place for them.

Recently as I was having tea with a friend she said something that underscored today's thought. After years of debilitating pain and surgeries in the double digits, her husband is finally in a good place. The years of disability were horrible and the toll they took was heavy. Now that the proverbial sun is shining brightly on them, life is definitely better. She told me she can look her husband in the eye and say, "You were worth sticking it out for." WOW!

Another friend has walked with her husband through a back injury that prevented him from working for many months and which led them to the brink of insolvency. Today, he is a business owner and things are definitely better. She told me that she loves her husband dearly, is glad she stood with him.

On any given day, most parents could relate their experiences of 'better' and 'worse' with their children. Employees/employers could do the same in regards to their experiences at work. Students would probably focus more on the 'worse' aspects of school even though they might grudgingly acknowledge the 'better'.

My Mum often quoted the following verse from Matthew 5:45...

...for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Sort of sounds like 'better AND worse" to me.

The truth is that after the rain there's sun; once we get to the bottom of a hill, we begin the ascent to the peak of the next one and after weeping comes joy.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. (Psalm 30:5b)

By the time I got home from the shower, my reminiscing and ruminating had culminated thus: I don't think it's possible to choose 'better' all the time nor is it likely that our lives will be 'worse' all the time. No, I think the reality is that life is an ongoing cycle of 'better AND worse'. And if I may offer some advice...throw yourself into the 'better' so that your heart and mind are filled with hope, joy and energy aplenty to sustain you through the 'worse'.